Added: 01/13/2006 |
Wedding etiquetteWhat could be advised on wedding etiquette to help us address the usual (and unusual) issues within the context of marriage:
Transport
To start with, here are some observations on how the modern bride might expect to get to her 'big day':
An open car looks good, but will mess up the bride's hair en-route to the church. Consider the diameter of the bride's dress and the height of the hair before picking the car. A little old car is picturesque, but it might well be painfully slow.
Get a new car or a big car if you've got to travel more than a couple of miles.
Horse-drawn carriages are romantic, but messy - especially if you step in 'it' just before you enter the church. Get the wedding car to the bride's house at least 30 minutes before you need to depart. Until you've been there you've no idea how long it can take to get one (emotional) bride and one (haggard) father out of the house.
Watch your Photographer!
With everything running on a tight schedule, it's almost guaranteed that one of the biggest causes for delays is the activities of the photographer. Though the happy couple wants a record of the day - with snaps taken at the beginning, during and after the ceremony - the last thing anyone needs is someone being overly-perfectionist about the whole thing. Some photographers use their few minutes in the limelight to boss everyone around and generally keep everyone waiting around in the hope that a cloud might move a few miles to the right and give the scene more light. If at all possible, delegate the responsibility of 'photographer herder' to someone who can be tactful, but firm and make sure that the 'artist' doesn't keep everyone hanging around for way too long.
Duties of Bridesmaids
It's lovely to be asked to be a bridesmaid, but there's more to it than a pretty frock (unless you're really unlucky). It is also an honor and a duty. Many brides pick a couple of grown-up friends as maids so they can help out. Duties may include:
Helping the bride get ready, (and supplying stiff drinks, if needed).
Keeping the teeny flower girls amused and under control.
Keeping the mothers apart and persuading them the bride knows best.
Distracting drunk relatives when they are about to be vulgar.
Dancing with everyone to get the party going.
Running, fetching and carrying for the bride. There are some things you just can't do in a big frock.
Have fun, but stay on duty. Your effort can help make it a magical day for your friend.
Speeches
If you must have speeches, then here are some simple rules:
Do not compose the speech on the way to the wedding - write it beforehand and take some time over it. Write it yourself (or type it) so you can read it easily.
Don't get drunk but do have a few drinks to calm your nerves. A room full of strangers is even scarier if you're stone cold sober.
If you're the groom, don't forget to compliment the in-laws for their hard work (if they did any). It'll give you brownie points for at least a couple of months.
Try not to burst into tears - this just embarrasses everyone and you become totally incomprehensible.
Keep it short, sweet and try saying what you really mean.
Some Final Tips on Wedding Etiquette
Number one rule for attending a wedding - it's the bride's day - don't outshine her, it's only polite. Especially if you are the new mother-in-law!
Loo brushes, while funny as a gift to the bride, should really be accompanied by at least something a bit more appropriate for a wedding.
If they are handing out little papers at the door to the chapel, it's probably important information - get one or you won't be able to sing along with everyone else.
If you go to the wedding reception and find to your surprise a little disposable camera, don't assume it's a present for you. It's there so you will take pictures of the people at the table and the wedding and then leave it there for the bride and groom at the end.
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