Added: 09/12/2006 |
Dating intimacyThere are several forms of intimacy. The first one is intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas and equally enjoy similarities and differences between their points of view. If doing this feels comfortable for both of them, then they have become quite intimate in an intellectual area.
A second form of intimacy is emotional intimacy where two persons can comfortably share their feelings with each other, when you feel what mood your partner is in, when one starts a phrase and the other can finish it – this is a true emotional intimacy. It’s when you feel you have found your soul mate, “someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life,” as Richard Bach put it.
A third form of intimacy is sexual intimacy. This is the common definition of intimacy that first comes to everyone’s mind. However, this form of intimacy consists of a wide range of sensuous activity and is much more than just sex. It’s any form of sensual interaction with each other. Therefore, intimacy has many facets.
One of the barriers to establishing intimacy in a relationship is miscommunication when one of the partners misjudges the thoughts or actions of the other.
Another important factor in intimacy developing is time. Intimacy takes time to develop and some people are rushing their relationship and are not prepared to wait.
To become intimate with someone a person has to be aware of himself/herself and realize what she/he can share with a partner. People who don’t know themselves are often emotionally immature. They find themselves unaware of other people’s needs and feelings.
Reluctance to share oneself with another person can keep an intimate relationship from developing.
Game playing also can kill intimacy, as people pretend to be someone else instead of being themselves.
You can easily spot a couple that knows what intimacy is all about in any crowd. They hear each other without uttering a word. They hold each other’s hand. They breathe and move in the same rhythm. They share everything and supplement each other.
If when your partner is away, you can talk on the phone for hours and after she/he hangs up you still have things to say and rush to write an email message; if when the phone is ringing you always know when it’s him/her; if you are sure what gift your significant other wants for the coming birthday without asking; if being silent together doesn’t feel awkward; if you two feel like one – this is real intimacy…
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