You can make a lot of wrong decisions in your life and recover. You choose the wrong job but revise your career choices later and find a better one. You can buy the wrong house and then sell it. You can relocate to the wrong city and move to another one that suits you better. All of these decisions may carry some wrong consequences, but they are nothing in comparison to the wrong choices we make in a relationship. If you date and marry the wrong person, you are bound to live with the significant negative impact of that decision for the rest of your life, no matter if you stay married or get divorced. If you choose unwisely in the dating arena, that choice can affect every aspect of your life.
There are four most common reasons why people tend to make wrong decisions.
1. Fist-Available Syndrome.
You are desperate for love, and therefore settle for the first eligible candidate. Many people are so love hungry that they are willing to take the first available man or woman who comes along. Eventually they realize that they are incompatible and have different life priorities, but sometimes it's too late. Take your time, sit down and consider what you want and what you need before you ever go out.
2. Fooled by the Externals.
You are looking for the wrong things and are thereby fooled by the superficial qualities. External qualities might distract you from more important traits. Psychologist Henry Cloud put it this way: ?What we are attracted to in a person is what we see on the outside, their looks and personality, but what we end up experiencing in a long term relationship is what we can't see ? that's their insides, their character.? Slow down and learn more about your date before you start a committed relationship.
3. Blinded by Sex.
You are incapable of seeing the shortcomings and negative traits of another person because you are blinded by your exciting sex life. The Bible says, ?Love covers a multitude of sins,? but when it comes to dating relationships, sex covers a multitude of shortcomings. Sex might often cloud the relationship and lock off communication. Men usually mistake lovemaking for intimacy while women easily confuse sex with commitment. So, whether it's trading sex for love or love or sex, the sexual relationship gives one a false sense of closeness, and it prevents both parties from seeing the real person they are dating.
4. Going Too Fast.
You are in such a big hurry to get married that you miss important road signs along the way. Too many people exceed the relationship speed limit. You might think that this storm of feelings is real love, but in reality you might have problems holding on to a steering wheel. When you zoom through a dating process, you never get to know what the person you are dating is really like. Dating is not a race to see who can get to the finish line in the shortest period of time. Dating should be a long-term process of finding out whether you are compatible with the other person, and whether or not the two of you have what it takes to build up a long lasting relationship.
If you desire to make wise dating choices, to know what your want so you don't settle for the ?first available?, make sure you focus on the internals and take it slow. Half the success in building a solid dating relationship that can blossom into a successful marriage is finding the right person.