Added: 09/13/2006 |
Commandments of dating
1. Look for the good in every dating situation. Even if your date does not look like a movie star, he/she might have a good sense of humour and in no time you two will be laughing at the same things. If you hadn't gone out on this date, you probably would have never checked out this coffee shop, seen this exhibition, or tried ice skating. Look at each date as an experience, a chance to polish your social skills, to learn something new and get ready for the next one.
2. Take your time. People at times have a tendency to rush into a relationship, sex, marriage, etc. Learn to live in the present. If you have just broken up, relax and savor every moment of your freedom. You will miss the "old days" when you get attached again. Evaluate each situation, and know when to continue a relationship and when to readjust it. If you have problems before moving in together, they will not go away. If you are unsure of something, don't do it.
3. Protect your heart. Your feelings are your responsibility. Don't let yourself fall for the people who are wrong for you. If your plans include getting married, buying a house and having kids in two years, and you are dating a 50-year old hippy sharing a shabby basement apartment with three unemployed roommates, don't hope that your love will magically change him into a successful professional. Move on before you get attached. Don't break your heart in a relationship that will never work.
4. Love yourself. You are your own best friend. If a relationship falls apart, don't take all the blame. Go easy on yourself. You have to live with yourself forever, your boy-/girlfriend doesn't. Don't focus on the past. Free yourself for the future.
5. Be Yourself. Don't attempt to change yourself to please your partner. You may have the inclination to become the kind of person that you think your significant other will like. You might feel that if you are together, you have to agree on everything. It's totally wrong. Preserve your personality and your integrity. Seeing things from different perspectives and finding compromises is the essence of the relationship of two mature intelligent individuals.
6. Don't try to change your partner. Who hasn't violated this one? If she is a workaholic and hates cooking, don't expect that a wedding ring will transform her into a happy housewife. If he's playing in a jazz band, don't count on him becoming a stockbroker just to please you and your folks. If this relationship gives you more problems than satisfaction, you may be settling for less than what you really need.
7. Don't be bossy. Don't tell your date what to do. Don't trick yourself into thinking you can push anyone around, especially the person you are in a relationship with.
8. Don't humble your date. Telling your date how wonderful you are and how dumb he/she is the shortest way to a breakup. Stop reminding that you're a better driver, the best student in your Spanish class or have just got a promotion. The other person will get angry.
9. Make your date a priority. If you are dating someone on a regular basis, you have to spend a lot of time with this person. This is why they call them "significant others." If you want a relationship, you have to invest your time and effort. So, if you cannot give up Saturday hockey nights, you might compensate it on Sundays by taking her out to her favorite restaurant.
10. Learn something new in a relationship. Use every relationship as a chance for personal growth. Enrich your life and the life of your partner. Everyone has something to teach the other person. If she is into yoga, try taking classes with her. She will love you for that, and it will make you two even closer. Teach her playing chess in return. Be open to your date's world and invite her/him to yours.
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