Added: 09/13/2006 |
Being yourself on your first dateThe expectation of forging a relationship can put a lot of pressure on the first date. If things go wrong this first time around, there may not be a second chance. This sounds clichй, but the best way of ensuring future dates is by being you. If you try to give a false impression by lying about your accomplishments or saying things you feel your date would like to hear, you are only condemning your hope of starting a new relationship.
Physical attraction can take a relationship only so far. A true relationship is composed of faith, honesty, and trust, which must start from the beginning. Your first date may come about through a mutual physical attraction, but it will also include conversation, stories, and discussion about your hopes and dreams. Dishonesty in this regard cannot establish a true, lasting relationship.
It can be hard being you on the 1st date. You may be in a stage of your life where you are uncertain of your true self. It can be hard to follow the simple advice of ‘being yourself' if you are unclear of your own identity. We learn a lot about ourselves through our relationships. Our relationships can help us mold our own understanding of our identities. At a time in your life when you are beginning to create a sense of yourself and learn about who you are, an honest and clear relationship will help guide you.
Being yourself means not doubting your instincts. Say what is on your mind and respond to your date's conversation as if you are talking to a good friend. Do not be tempted to tell a white lie or exaggerate your own abilities – you may only end up putting yourself into a very difficult position. Start up a conversation on a topic that interests you, and you may be surprised that the same topic catches your date. But make sure not to talk too much about yourself and your own interests – you should also take the time to learn about your date!
If you trust yourself and your instincts, and find that the date is progressing well, you should feel encouraged about seeing your date again. If you are yourself on your first date and you find the date does not proceed very well, then at least you know it was never meant to be. Sometimes, people do not click, and that is okay. Going out on your first date is the way to test the waters of relationships, and sometimes the waters can be too rough.
Honesty with your first date is the best way to start a new relationship. And if being honest does not get you a second date, keep in mind that there are always plenty more first dates to come. Being calm, straightforward, and honest are tried and true measures of being yourself and good guidelines when on a first date.
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