Added: 12/08/2005 |
Child Tantrums are a Regular PhenomenonTo an average child the way he sees the world from the childish egoistic point of view parents are nothing but kill joys. They seem to always be saying "No" and the child naturally doesn't seem to understand the reasons why something can be done, the grown ups' reasoning is eluding them and this may eventually result in child tantrums. Normally child tantrums are not a very frequent occurrence, such violent emotional storms usually come our as a flood of accumulated fury that has been piling up in a child over some period of time. Wise parents need to be ready for such temper tantrums and be well-equipped to face the challenge of quelling the child.
In order to learn how to deal with child tantrums parents should understand that constant denying the child of simple joys may have a very negative effect. Every loving parent definitely wants their child to have a happy and cheerful disposition, that's why they may experience absolute shock when they are faced with the problem of child tantrums. But the factor the matter is that parents should remember how many times they said "No" to their child (no jumping on the sofa, no more gummy bears, no running around, etc.), how many times they made their child feel guilty or useless.
A byproduct of this negative attention, although probably having a great deal of disciplinary value, may produce a very negative effect on the child's' perception of the world and people around.
Child tantrums are very frequently triggered by the parents' criticism or scolding, therefore parents are the ones that are the most likely to witness child tantrums. But how is it possible to limit them? Let the child do whatever he wants so that he is happy and pleased? But wouldn't that be called indulgence?
The dividing line is very fine indeed, but wise parents must try to show in as many ways as they can to their child that they are not kill-joys. Maybe a piece of candy brought out of the pocket or a sudden flourish of a new toy or rattle. Even suddenly making a funny face can have a very good effect. There are many other such touches that would help to show the child that his parents are human, that they love him and also like to have a bit of fun. This can help to reduce child tantrums and help the child lead a happier life.
It goes without saying that it still remains necessary to discipline the child, otherwise he is likely to become absolutely uncontrollable, but on the other hand bringing the child to order can also be done in a multitude of ways. The best way to discipline a child is to not blame him for causing a disaster, but enlist his help, thus motivating him to face the responsibility for his actions.
Simply yelling at the child, let alone corporal punishment of any type is a very negative approach, it doesn't give the child any alternative and teaches him virtually nothing and is likely to get feedback in the quality of child tantrums.
The only kind of lesson that the child can learn after such vehement scolding is to lie to his parents and conceal from them the results of his naughty behavior.
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