* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

* Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the \"y\" becomes silent.

* When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

* My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.

* A husband said to his wife,
\"No, I don\'t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.\"

marriage jokes

* A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, \"OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.\"

* The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he\'ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

* Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They\'ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.