The Independent newspaper (October 24th 2005) reported rather scathingly that: 'He's a self-declared touchy-feely liberal and "unreconstructed hippie" who took his children on the anti-Iraq war demo'. Almost all newspapers and many magazines rely on their astrology column to boost their circulation significantly, and the few experiments by anti-astrology editors at excluding the columns have tipped the balance-sheet, so that "Your Stars" had to be quickly reinstated. As a young man, Jonathan assiduously worked through the diploma course of the UK Faculty of Astrological Studies. According to Jonathan, when the final submission of coursework was due on a Friday, his class was told they needn't hand their course-work in until the following Monday (this version of events was disputed by the faculty at the time), giving them the weekend to polish the work. On the Monday Jonathan and three fellow students had their entries refused as it was three days past the deadline.

As described by friends, Jonathan Cainer horoscopes are "..witty, intelligent, sensitive, thought-provoking, moving, haunting, hilariously funny!" So, I went to the website and found my (Gemini) horoscope. It didn't find it thought-provoking, moving or hilariously funny...but here it is: Appearances can be deceptive. It's easy to see what other people want us to see. It's easy too, to see what we ourselves want to see. If these two 'projected images' happen to coincide, it is almost impossible to see anything else. Unfortunately, though, reality is not established by a democratic process. Though many people can conspire to create a dream that seems convincing, the 'truth' remains the 'truth', regardless of how many people accept it. Watch carefully today and you will see what's really going on. I guess this means that I should not really care what people think...that could be dangerous! It's a good thing I use these types of things for entertainment purposes only...I wonder if the police would find this "Hillariously funny". I doubt it.

One of the most interesting Jonathan Cainer horoscopes I found was this one...I didn't even know you could do this!

Q: Jonathan, Can you use cosmic ordering to gain the love of someone...?"
A: Dear >>>, Cosmic ordering will not work in any situation where one person is asking the universe to interfere iwht another's freedom of choice. You can, though, always ask the cosmos to bring you information about this individual's tastes and preferences. This may help you modify your behaviour so you become more desirable in their eyes. But whether it is wise to strive so hard and bend so much is deeply debatable!"

So, you can ask the "universe" for things like a God or something?

You can listen to Jonathan Cainer horoscopes in any number of ways! He is available in the United Kingdom via a free phone number, or, if you're further away than that, you can listen to Jonathan on the web (for a price) or get him on your mobile telephone. Jonathan Cainer horoscopes will send you your own personal forecasts, daily, monthly, or even as far in advance as a year away. Anyway you can think of, Jonathan Cainer horoscopes are never far away.