My wife came home from work one day and announced that we are taking a great New Year cruise next year. I thought it was a great idea because it is something different for me and I could look forward to a great New Year cruise. She mentioned Mexico and the Bahamas as possible destinations and the idea of a great New Year’s cruise appealed to me but the notion of getting off the ship and wandering into a third world country as a fat and healthy American lost its luster. But the notion of that great New Year cruise stuck with me because I have never been on a cruise before and my wife has so she knows how great they can be! Then I got to thinking about things and suddenly that great New Year cruise was starting to sink lower and lower into the sunset.

I first saw the movie Jaws when it came out and since that movie I have been unable to swim in any body of water that is not a pool that I can see all sides of. Oceans, lakes, river, even large ponds do not hold any appeal to me and it is all because of the movie Jaws. Recently I saw the remake of the movie The Poseidon Adventure and it was simply titles Poseidon. It had been a while since I had seen that movie and I totally forgot what they were doing on the ship before the ship went all upside down on them. They had just rung in the New Year minutes before the ship got hit by that wave. Now I know that the chances that a huge underwater earthquake happening while I am on a ship creating a huge killer wave headed right towards the ship I am on are pretty slim. But still, I don’t swim with the sharks so I am really having a hard time convincing myself that I want to celebrate New Year’s at the mercy of a rogue tidal wave.

But as the trip grows near the excitement over my first trip on a cruise ship will probably override any silly Hollywood fears I may have. I hope. Once the deposit is paid I am locked in and since my wife has already survived her trip then I am sure I can survive mine. I am actually looking forward to it as I understand that sailing on a cruise ship is like putting the best all you can eat buffet on a barge and rolling down the river with it. There is food all the time, there is gambling all the time, and there is nothing but action on this floating city. To be honest I have only seen pictures of cruise ships. I have never been on one and I have never even been close enough to see one in real life so this should be fun.

Even though I feel no real allegiance to be home for New Year’s it will still be strange to yell Happy New Year and then not open my front door to hear the church bells ringing or picking up my pets and wishing them Happy New Year too. But I have celebrated New Year’s in a foreign country before so I know how it feels to not be home for New Year’s. I am looking forward to this great New Year’s cruise because I am anxious to be on a cruise ship and because I have not had a vacation in years. Although I really am not so certain how intelligent it is to be planning my New Year’s vacation on a ship seeing as how I do have that fear of large bodies of water. I have a fear of heights too. So I will be standing on a ship five stories up looking down at the ocean and praying I don’t get vertigo and fall over. Happy New Year!