Unfortunately, they’re also often the first people to go when someone else, say a man, comes wandering into our lives. There are several simple ways to make sure these intimate relationships maintain a top priority instead of getting shunted into the “when I have time” category.
#1. Stay In Touch
“She hasn’t called me since she met what’s-his-face…” How many times have you made this complaint? How many times do you suspect this complaint has been made about you? Granted, when you’re in the white hot heat of a new romance, you probably won’t have time for hour-long gabfests like you used to, but you can still call and say, “I don’t have a lot of time to talk, but I just wanted to hear your voice.”
#2. Schedule Time To Hang Out
You don’t have to be joined at the hip with your new love 24/7. In fact, it’s better if you aren’t. Although your guy may gripe about it, deep down inside he’s more likely to respect you if you maintain your own life and your intimate relationships with your best girlfriends.
#3. Be There For Her And Make Sure She’s There For You
When you talk on the phone or get together in person, do you each do about 50% of the talking? Or does she always listen patiently while you delve into your latest relationship woes. (“He said he loved me, but he had this weird look on his face, kind of like a smile, but not quite…blah, blah, blah.”) If you’re doing most of the talking, hush! Find out how her life is going. On the other hand, if she’s doing most of the talking, be assertive. Say, “I do want to hear your story about telling off that rude customer, but first I need to tell you about…”
#4. Bond Over The Good
Women’s friendships often form under stress. We make new friends when we’re breaking up with Mr. Ex-Right. Often the whole tenor of the relationship becomes a he-done-me-wrong torch song. But complaining can only go so far, and when you’re happy again, a woe-is-me relationship starts to lose its appeal. If you feel this happening, try to introduce positive things to your intimate relationships with female friends: a poker night, a movie night, a comedy club night…you get the idea. Fun stuff, not sob stories.
#5. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
We’ve all grown away from intimate relationships with our female friends. As our lives progress, we no longer have the same interests, the same beliefs, or the same problems that brought us together in the first place. Many of us try to give our friends the brush, hoping they’ll catch on. This, however, is not particularly kind and may leave your friend worrying that she has done something wrong. It’s better to say in a friendly note or phone call, “We seem to be heading in very different directions, and I doubt our paths will cross as often as they have in the past. Even if we don’t see each other as often as we used to, please know that I will always treasure our friendship.”
All too often, when Mr. Right Now comes in the door, our dearest friends get booted out the window. While it’s certainly important to honor your new romantic relationship, it’s equally important to honor the intimate relationships with female friends who have cheered for you in your triumphs and mourned for you in your sorrows. So why not pick up the phone right now and give your BFF a call? I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear your voice.