It was the stuff dreams were made of: walking into the office and boasting of your exploits the night before. The one night stand. You don't even remember her name. Or maybe you did, but you won't admit it. Conversely, don't think for just a moment, that she is not within her circle of friends bragging about the same thing. Everybody uses everybody don't they? Maybe in the back of your mind, you both were hoping that you'd find true love. But a one night stand doesn't create the right opportunity. The ground rules are different. You want it all, you want it fast and you want to carry o with your life.
The one night stand date fills a need. One of those spur-of-the-moment things that are neither good nor bad. I've had my share the one night stand, and I can tell you the thrill of the hunt, the lead up, was always a lot more fun that the actual sex that followed. Well, most of the time. There were exceptions. A talent agent I met in Orlando back in '82 was a definite exception to the rule. What was memorable was that neither of us was drunk. No excuses. We established the fact that we both found each other interesting and then we went back to my place. She was a screamer. Really upset my landlord who lived downstairs. And then she was gone. I have a funny feeling neither of us felt that guilty afterwards.
Had more than a few of what I call the one night stand date. Or maybe the girl had one with me. Again, everybody uses everybody. One or both of us got what we wanted. Maybe at the beginning of the night, sex in the back of my Chevy wasn't the objective. But at whatever point it became apparent that it was, then well we made on with it. Didn't feel guilty about that either.
Funny thing happened after I got married: I stopped wanting the one night stand. Don't think the opportunities weren't there. Business travel leaves lots of doors open. I tried walking through a few of them, but just couldn't connect like I used to. All the bravado and bullshit sounded just like it was. The one night stand date that was supposed to be just dinner and drinks with a colleague, but was supposed to be so much more. And the naked woman standing in front of me. Well, what was she doing there anyway? For the first time I did feel guilty. But it was a good kind of guilty.
I try to be neither judge nor jury when the subject of a one night stand comes up at the office. I raise an eyebrow now when the person is married. Try to imbibe some wisdom of my years that the one night stand is no good for a marriage. Not to mention sexually transmitted disease and more. And then I think back to my youth. I had been lucky. Poking my head where it didn't belong. What was I thinking? In fact an entire generation of baby boomers was doing the same thing I was. Living the one night stand and talking about it the next morning.
Times sure change. More often than not, boasting about a one night stand brings sneers rather than cheers. I guess it's just in vogue any more. But every so often, when I lay awake at night I remember. My wife's snoring brings me back to reality. I'm a pretty lucky guy after all.