One of the struggles of parenting twins who are babies is what to do when both babies are crying. The mother of twins learns quickly how to distinguish which baby is in more need of help by their level of crying. They will take care of the problem, and then comfort both babies. Also, when both babies are in need of the same level of comfort, the mom learns to take turns, comforting one baby first, and then next time the other baby gets to go first.
Multiple births create at least double the work for the parents when the multiples are babies. Be prepared to stock up on jumbo packs of diapers and wipes. Also, you will need double of all of your supplies. Parents of multiples often find that they no longer have the time or energy to go out like they did before the babies were born. It is important for parents of twins to take time for each other. That being said, the entertainment derived from multiples is often much greater than any dinner out or movie. Parents of twins need to learn to balance parent-child time with husband-wife time. They need to not be afraid of calling in a baby sitter from time to time in order to spend some time together.
Parents who have experienced multiple births often wonder how to help their children have their own identities. There is much information out there about how twins develop too much attachment for each other and do not develop their own personalities and interests. Parents can encourage the twins to be their own people by taking them for individual activities once in a while. For example, on a Saturday, dad can take one twin to the zoo while mom takes the other to the library. Give the kids the chance to show you what they enjoy, and whether their interests differ or not, encourage them to pursue the things they are interested in.
Sometimes parents of twins feel guilty because they cannot tell their infant twins apart. This is completely normal. It is important for the parents to realize that it takes a while for the unique personality of an infant to show itself. Make it easy on yourself. Some parents of multiples will put colored bracelets on the babies to help them keep track of who is who. There is nothing to feel guilty about if you do this! Rest assured that as the children grow up, you will learn who is who. The demands of taking care of two newborns at the same time sometimes delays the bonding process, which is another reason that parents of twins sometimes feel guilty. Again, while this is a normal feeling, there is no reason to feel guilty. You will bond with your children as the routine that revolves around taking care of twins becomes the every day norm. Hang in there, because you can do it!