Many people believe that because a couple are both Christians, they will not have marriage problems. This is simply not true! Others believe that if a Christian couple has marriage trouble, it means that the marriage was not God’s will. This is also not true! A marriage that is made of two Christians is still made of two people who are sinners, and sometimes Christian marriage counseling is needed to help the two people come to an understanding.
Often the reason for problems in Christian marriages is that people have trouble forgiving past wrongs. People make mistakes, and in a marriage, it is imperative that people learn to overlook those mistakes. Christian marriage counseling helps people learn to overlook and forgive. Think about it this way—what has Christ forgiven you of? Everything! Can you not learn to forgive your spouse for the small problems they exhibit?
Another reasons Christians have trouble in their marriages is selfishness. As people, our underlying tendencies are to be selfish. We want to look out for ourselves first. A Christian counseling center will help Christian couples learn to seek to meet the needs of their spouse first. The beauty of this is that when each spouse is seeking to meet the other’s needs first, both needs end up being met. This quickly creates the “feeling” of love again in the marriage. When you are constantly striving to meet someone’s needs, you cannot help but learn to love them.
Often married couples, Christians included, attack problems by attacking the person. Christian marriage counseling will teach the couple how to look at the problem and reach a solution without attacking each other. Attacking another person only creates more problems. To assist in this, the marriage counselor will teach the couple how to communicate in ways that the other understands. Men and women communicate differently, and the key to proper communication in a marriage is learning to communicate and listen the way your spouse does.
Christian marriage counseling I absolutely essential when serious problems arise in a marriage, such as an affair or abuse. It is often through bringing in an outside person that a true understanding of the issues surrounding the problem can be found. This is the only way to find a solution to the problem.
The ultimate goal of any marriage counseling session for a Christian couple should be restoration and reconciliation. When this is not possible, outside intervention may be necessary, but avoid a counselor who pushes you towards separation, unless you are in danger in the relationship. The Bible teaches that forgiveness and restoration are the goals of problems among believers, and this should be the case for your marriage counselor as well.