Added: 01/22/2006 |
Watch Your BP Rise; Oh No, Watch Out, It?s The Troll!Things are going swimmingly. You have entered into a thought-provoking debate about the best way to handle the obnoxious sales men and women who call you during dinner on a nightly basis and all the sudden the trolls enter the building. Crap. It's the internet trolls. Run. Run far, run fast. The problem is you cannot get away from the trolls fast enough. With the blink of an eye, or the stroke of a few keys, they have attacked. Their point? They really don't have one.
They call themselves the internet trolls. They enter into any conversation; it does not matter how serious, how silly, or how stupid the conversation may be. They want to enter, the internet trolls want to annoy, and they want to start a riot. The truth of the matter is that the trolls have little intelligence so by being obnoxious the internet trolls hope to gain attention. The sad truth is that the internet trolls usually succeed in their goals.
Imagine the following conversation:
Speaker 1: So I was just sitting down to a plate of steaming lasagna when the phone rang. I refuse the pay the absurd fees the phone company wants for caller ID so I did the stupid thing, I answered it.
Speaker 2: Why on earth did you answer it?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. Sure enough, it was so and so from Monopolizing the World Cable Service demanding to know why I left their company for satellite. I ended up hanging up.
Speaker 2: Oh, I see. I always tell them I need to put them on hold, put the phone in the closest drawer and then leave it like that for hours to see how much money I can make them spend on the long-distance call.
The troll: Hahaha. You both suk.
Speaker 1: What the hell is that? How mature. Grow up you idiot and learn how to spell correctly.
Speaker 2: Oh God. We've been discovered by the internet trolls.
The troll: I rule. You suk. Whine some more you loser.
Speaker 1: Grow up or participate into this conversation normally. And will you please learn to spell suck correctly!
Speaker 3: Ignore him. Everyone knows that if you ignore the troll he or she will eventually go away.
The troll: You suk too speaker 3.
At this point, you want the troll to go away. However, due to the fact that you responded the first time, the troll will not leave because he or she has what all of the trolls demand-attention. The truth is that all internet trolls were probably unloved during childhood and cannot get a potential lover so they turn to the internet hoping to find attention from the cyber world. The only advice anyone can offer is to ignore the troll causing the offense and if you are an administrator block that user ID. Unfortunately, there really isn't anything effective against the trolls.
Embrace the internet. In the meantime, could someone please invent some internet trolls repellant? I think the world would be a much happier place if it existed! Maybe Microsoft will release a troll repellant patch for all their systems, but until that day it looks like we will have to wait and try our best to ignore the troll that hang around the internet just waiting to bug you. Lets hope that the troll will eventually die out or become extinct.
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