Gym memberships soar during the first few months of any given year. This is due to the fact that most know they are overweight or need to make sure they don’t deteriorate quite so quickly. In an effort to maintain or loose weight, dollars are thrown out the window by the hundreds for year long memberships that will only be used for a few months. Then, the gyms got smart: they began offering monthly memberships, trial periods, and numerous ways to steal your money! After all, even they knew you’d only be there through the end of April…and that was a dedicated flunkie! Well, I got smarter!

There is also an influx of infomercials during the first few months of the year advertising special prices on at home fitness equipment. So, New Year 2006, I’m really going to do it this time! “WOW!” I think to myself. “These pieces combine together to give me “a total body workout” experience and they’re half the cost of a gym membership. Besides, who wants to get dressed up to look like a bunny just to go sweat? And, I can exercise while I’m still getting Henry’s dinner on the table!” I pick up the phone and I order. Three months later, my husband’s shirts are hanging on the handles and I’m thinking about selling it.

With home buying interest rates at their lowest in years, I feel like I would have missed the ride if I didn’t hop on the bandwagon! Who knew you could get an ARM worth 430,000 for a mere $1300 per month? So, New Year 2006, I’m going to buy a new house! “Wow!” I think to myself. “I could really live in my dream home after all!” Henry and I move in, within 6 months the rates adjust (the first part of that ARM acronym) and our mortgage sky rockets! Now, 9 months later, we’re selling the house.

Organic foods! Need I say more? There was more attention paid to tofu and soy products in 2006 than in any other previously reported by the Food and Drug Administration. “If you’re feeling tired, sluggish, and are overweight…organics are for YOU!” they said. Even McDonald’s got on the train…no Trans fats in their fries!
I can’t really imagine the taste, but, after the abandoned exercise equipment, I need to do something, so, in the New Year 2006, I’m going to eat better! “WOW” I think to myself. “There are so many ways to make tofu…at least one of them has to taste good, right? O.K., so what about soy products? If the cows on television can drink it, anyone can-right? Mix in a little sugar, white or brown, oats, soy milk…how bad can it be? Not even plain hot water could taste that bad! Tofu: well that’s another whole animal, isn’t it? What exactly IS tofu? Does anyone really know? Well, maybe next year.

The Chinese New Year symbols look like kindergarten squalls to me, but New Year 2006 was to be my year, the year of the Dog…which is my Chinese astrology zodiac sign. I can’t even really create it, but it looks like a disconnected set of people bent over to their right. Maybe they had already seen the bullets that needed to be dodged and were done so in anticipation of getting killed! All in all, it was a fabulous year, I’ve sold the fitness equipment, we’re back in a house we can afford and tonight for dinner, it’s pizza with the kids!