There are, of course, many varying degrees of how open the adoption would be. The word of “open” can have many meanings. Sometimes the connection about open adoptions will simply be exchanging pictures and giving the birth mother updates on the child’s progress and well-being. In some cases, this is not even done directly; a third party may be used as a mediator to facilitate the communications. Sometimes the elements about open adoption may be that the birth mother has regular visits with the child. This is something that must be given a lot of thought, as this type of situation may cause confusion for the child or resentment in the birth mother, the adopting family or both.
The most important thing to remember about open adoption is that there is no typical open adoption relationship. Every open adoption will be different. An adoptive family may find that they have a close friendship with the birth family or alternatively they may feel uncomfortable and there may even be a conflicting association. The real degree of closeness is not determined by the type of contact the adopting family has with the birth family, even though it may be one of the aspects about open adoption.
Adoptive and birth families may contact each other by postal mail, phone or in person, while others relationships are carried out anonymously. There are some open adoptions in which the relationship of the birth parents and adoptive parents is a positive one. They will see each other regularly and will feel a connection. If a couple is wondering about open adoption and why they can not seem to have a cordial relationship with the birth mother, they should not feel alone; it is a confusing and touchy situation sometimes.
The most important element in the long run about open adoptions is the needs of the child. Some things to consider about open adoptions are that many are amiable, but somewhat kept back. For most parties, phone calls are the preferred method of communications to talk about the adoptive child. One issue that must be addressed about open adoptions is that the birth mother, quite often if she was very young when giving birth, will take a long time to come to terms that she needed to give her baby up for adoption. Compassion and understanding for the confusing thoughts and guilt she may feel and help to smooth things over. A girl or woman, who is thinking about giving her baby up for adoption, should definitely think about open adoption; as this can be less traumatizing and can lead to a feeling that the child is in a good home, while you are still allowed to have contact. The needs of the baby must come first; babies are not asked to be brought into the world. Responsible people must make the correct choices for the sake of the children.