Added: 01/22/2006 |
There Is Nothing Romantic About Violent SexWell, I was not surprised that my wife said she wasn't interested. Hell, at my age, just getting an erection can be considered violent sex. But apparently some men and women really get into that kid of thing. I guess violent sex -- at least the kind I saw in that Sean Connery movie - is an extension of sadomasochism. You know, the whole bondage, whip me-treat me like a dog kind of thing.
Apparently though, violent sex, or at least "thinking" about violent sex is normal. Kind of. According to a recent study by the Psychology Today magazine, a group of 1000 students were surveyed on the contents of their erotic dreams and fantasy's and more often than not they dreamed of violent sex on a regular basis.
Violent is the operative word here. For example for some people violent sex may be an image of hitting your naked partner in the ass with a cream pie. For others it is slapping or getting slapped. According to the similar studies in the past, frequent aggressive/violent sexual thoughts are usually associated with obsessive behavior, and may lead to violent sexual acts. But until you cross the line and go from dreaming about hitting your naked partner in the ass with a cream pie actually doing it, than apparently you are safe.
But getting back to the SM thing, that seem like violent sex to me. It also seems humiliating. If someone has to strip down to their underwear and wear a spiked collar on his/her neck and bark like a pit bull in heat, I don't find that particularly sexy or appealing. Of course having said that, apparently quite a few men and women do get into that kind of thing. And again, recent study shows that it's o-k. Almost perfectly normal behavior. I don't for exactly "who" this is perfectly normal behavior. But hey - if it works for you and you're not hurting anyone in the process than I guess the sky's the limit.
The problem is, as stated above - when the dreams and fantasies take on a life of their own. If you can't find anyone to play nice with you and you start forcing this kind of behavior on people than the sex does become violent, and people do get hurt. And that is not a good thing.
The trick to preventing violence lies in not creating an atmosphere for it. Soft music and candle light does not lend itself to swinging upside down from a chandelier while holding a riding crop in your hand. Shock therapy on sex offenders was always considered a great method for preventing violence.
Castration was a big back in Roman times and that seemed to calm down a lot of slaves. Or maybe it just upset them even more. Heck, if I'm looking down at my little friend and he's constantly moping around, I might be inclined to go rob a bank or something in order to vent a bit of anger, because I don't think 100 push-ups is going to have any effect.
But I digress. Violent sex is one of those "niche markets". There will always be some macho man on a power trip that can get off with paying 50 bucks to some coke-head girl who will be too spaced to realize she's getting choked and slapped around in the name of having violent sex and a good time. And conversely I imagine the CEO of a bank somewhere is perfectly good with dressing up like little red riding hood so he can get kicked around a bit by the 'Fairy God Mother" or whatever the heck these SM mistresses call themselves.
Violent sex? Nah. Give me soft music and champagne any time.
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