I was casually attached at the time, not so involved that I’d call it a serious relationship, but being relatively old fashioned and bound by some basic rules of ethical dating, I wasn’t the type to date more than one man at a time, even if none of the prospects were panning out to be something serious. So I set him up on a blind date with my notoriously loose and perpetually available roommate. She would date anyone nearly, as long as they were male and had no intentions of getting serious.
So being an ethical dater, I showed up to accompany the two of them on their first date. She didn’t show up. My future husband and I danced, talked, laughed, talked some more, and danced some more. Until dawn.
The second night we tried again. And the same thing happened. My roommate, his blind date, didn’t show up. Again we danced, we talked, we laughed, we danced some more, laughed a lot more, and danced and talked until dawn.
On the third night we tried again, and when my roommate did show up, my future husband told her to her great surprise that he was no longer interested in her but was terribly interested in me. And then we danced and talked, and then we kissed. And then we went home together. We’ve been together day and night, ever since, for thirteen years.
Our sex life in the beginning was fervent, lustful, and we had sex every chance we had, for as long as we could stand it, as often as we could. We had what we call “sex-capades,” which was really nothing more than turning our house into a playpen for us to enjoy each other all night long. When we first began swapping it was done still very much in the same way we do it now, purely in the spirit of having a great time, together.
Swapping is a lot more than what the word connotates. Swapping can be any sort of playful sexual interaction done with the consent of all involved. My husband has been my best friend and confidant for well over a decade, and I find that swapping brings us closer together, to share common fantasies, to live then together, and fulfill them together, remember together, and enjoy the memories together also.
We’ve never actually managed to carry out a strict wife swap, where there’s another willing couple to play with. My experience has shown me that although talking about it turns people on, following through happens far less frequently. Perhaps because of jealousy or moral obstacles, individuals make themselves available for swapping far more often than do couples. The absolute hard and fast rule when it comes to swapping is that consent and content of all parties is essential. Because of that, my experience with swapping has been a positive, productive, enriching experience.