Let us assume for a minute, darling, sweetheart, LOVE OF MY LIFE that slashdot rss were nothing more than just a way for you to pass the time, that slashdot org were nothing more than something to do while I was away at work or out with the or in some other way indisposed and EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE as you are so fond of saying. Let us then suppose that slashdot rss is for FUN only. If this is the case, pumpkin, cupcake, then I am clearly overreacting and I am clearly being an asshole and I am sorry.
"Assume away", you say, and you cross and uncross your arms and look nervous but defiant all the same. This is the time to take a serious or playful approach. Find out there is to know and go with the flow. What do you have to loose, besides the ignorance that dominates your gray membrane. Time to, as they say, live a little. That is all that is asked from you.
But come on; let us just be honest here. Slashdot rss is not just something that you do when you think I am maybe banging somebody else or watching strippers pretzel and unpretzel themselves. Lets just face the reality that slashdot org has straight taken my place in your life. It's not just for fun anymore, this slashdot rss. And how could it be, with all it's got to offer someone like you. Who needs husbands or wives any more when they got this slashdot rss? It's not like I didn't see this coming!
I mean, seriously, mi Corazon, have you looked at yourself in the mirror these last few months? Because guess what, mon ami, you have grown your self a big fat ass and it keeps growing! And did you throw all your make up out? And who is going to pay for the new clothes you will need when you finally rip the seams on all your jeans? What, were you expecting, my life, to lounge about wrapped in a sheet like some sorority chick as a goddamned toga party? Well I've got news for you, sweetie, they don't let girls like you into sororities, because you are not even smart enough to get into college!
slashdot rss has come between us and there's no way around it. Lets just leave well enough alone then. So ok, I have been to some strip bars and I have been to some Ladies of the Night, and I have watched both of these types pretzel and unpretzel themselves, but it was only after I knew there was no talking to you, and afterwards there was almost no looking at you, and you know what, if slashdot rss is good enough to whet your appetite then maybe it can whet mine and maybe then we will have something in common and we will both be obsessed and then none of it will matter anymore anyway.
And maybe I can lounge about in sheets too, and maybe the both of us will one day be helicoptered off, the medics having removed our roof and injected us with something sweet and slow. Sweet and slow and it seeps through our veins and then we have something else in common, a common fate! And we always said we wanted to die together, didn't we? And I guess if you think about it it wasn't all bad and we had some good moments in there and who are we to say it wasn't worth it?
Assume away, you say. And as your lips mouth the words, my pen becomes the sword that bears my soul. I mark your attention and mock your admiration.