 Love The Other Companion
Added: 11/21/2007 |
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What is the essence of marriage? From time immemorial the sanctity of marriage has been hailed in the highest esteem, in all religious orders in spite of the ethnic, linguistic and cultural differences! A marriage in search of a life long companion, is therefore the most decent way to maintain a healthy life and to pave the way for the emergence of the posterity! However, it is also to be noted that in conjunction with the presence of merits there is also the striking presence of the demerits.
What are merits and demerits in marriages? In this regard, it can be said, that the majority of the people scattered throughout the globe do overrate the benefits of getting married, but at the same time do underestimate the problems. To most of them, getting married leading to the advent of a new companion will make them happier, feel more connected, and bring move love into their lives! But alongside there is also an alternative thought, in spite of the coming of a new companion into the life, the marriages in the truest sense do restrict the freedom and autonomy of people. Besides it also constrain choices and more than this getting married leads to the increase of the likelihood of conflict vehemently! Are you confused? But is it not the fact that in spite of all these marriages continue to happen and it is the most civilized social institution? In addition, is there any other civilized way to find out a suitable companion? All these are definitely true, but to many most people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of what is going to happen, which ultimately results in disappointment, anger, and frustration. It is really unfortunate, that people in general consider marriages to be the most authentic source happiness and joy, when, in fact, marriages are a source of much happiness and much frustration. This can be ascertained from the fact that in the absence of the same wavelength the new companion within few years turns into the bitterest enemy! In fact, research show that people are more likely to be mean to a spouse than to a complete stranger. There are numerous instances when people are more likely or have been found to show disregard, indifference, and anger to a spouse compared to how they would treat a stranger. This happens because close relationships, not only create rewards, but they also create problems. But at the same time, it is really unfortunate that most people are not ready or well prepared to deal with the problems. But how to retain the companionate love? Remember this love works as the greatest bond between the couple or a companion with the other one. Now, there are two types of love, which rule our decision making at the start of a relationship, romantic and passionate love. But there is the sturdy presence of a love that makes a relationship work, or the companionate love. We shall have to keep in mind while romantic, passionate love is exciting, intense and all encompassing the saga of companionate love is based on affection, appreciation and companionship.
Why do people marry then? Most of the people enter into marriage because they are swept up in romantic, passionate love, not realizing that this type of love is going to fade. But if it is based on only romantic, passionate love instead of the companionate love it is bound to fade indicating that henceforth your marriage is going be difficult to maintain! So what to do? In most cases it is found that, though unfortunately, we select spouses on the basis of romantic love, but companionate love or the love of a companion to the other one is what really matters in the long run.
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