The process of adoption begins when two people decide they want t o expand their family. Finding either a private agency to handle the adoption or going through a public agency is a crucial decision the two people must make. This is because the availability of children, ages, ethnicity and other important factors when deciding a child to adopt vary from agency to agency. One might think there is a “pool” of children available to adopt and the separate agencies simply “assist” a couple wanting to adopt in finding just the right one. This is not the case.
Different agencies have different avenues available to them. Some mothers who are carrying unwanted children or who simply would like someone else to have the child in the hopes of a better life elsewhere, may have contracted with an agency and made some prior arrangements as to what type of family they would like to have their child adopted into. There may also be other stipulations such as a “no contact” rule denoting that the child and its adoptive family have no contact with the birth mother, her immediate family or extended relatives. The opposite might also be true. Annually sending pictures and updates is another language of adoption that must be learned.
The language of adoption can keep one family from adopting a child when another family is very easily able to acquire a child. The infant population of adopted children is huge, this is the most desirable group of children needing adopted. So much in fact, there is a shortage of infants available compared to the number of families wanting to adopt them. The pre-teen and teen category, according to the language of adoption, is the least desirable group of children to adopt. For this very reason, some families choose to adopt these kids, reaching out to them with as much love and support as they possibly can.
In the adoption process, choosing a child, the sex, ethnicity, age, etc. is only the beginning. The country from which to adopt and the visits to that country to familiarize yourself with the norms, cultures, and peoples of that region and the costs associated with these trips must also be considered. In the language of adoption, it is important to many to preserve the heritage in which the child was born. Those of Indian descent might want to tract their roots and explore different ways they are alike or different than their ancestors. An adoptive parent being able to furnish the child with the information they seek is something most see as an act of love. The language of adoption also includes those who choose to withhold the information that the child was adopted from friends, family and, in some cases, even the child themselves. The language of adoption is all too often not spoken in the manner in which benefits for everyone are derived.