In Slovenia, Escorts Hardly Necessary

Added: 03/01/2006

In Slovenia, escorts are hardly necessary. Slovenian women populate internet matchmaking websites in droves, and you quite frankly wouldn't believe just how many of them are irresistible. They're lovely, friendly and speak excellent English, though Latin might be a nice language to use. Get ready to book a flight to one of the most beautiful countries in Europe. And the scenery's nice, too.

So, I've been doing some searching online on various dating websites. I may be taking a vacation to visit Slovenia. Escorts are not my cup of tea, and so I'm looking around to find a more personal form of nightlife. Slovenia, it appears, must be full of women who are quite proud of various parts of their anatomy, for every personal advertisement I looked at (well, almost every one) featured a lady's breast (yes, just one), hand, buttocks or breasts (more than one). Three possibilities become evident: Modesty is not of high priority in Slovenia, escorts are posing as innocent women from Ljubljana, Jesenice and Murska Sobota, or just simply that Slovenian woman take great pride in certain body parts.

See what I mean? Here's "Medusa" (really). Rather than a nice photo of a head topped with hissing snakes guaranteed to turn surfers to stone before three seconds of nightlife, Slovenian Medusa shows one extremely rounded breast. In Slovenia, escorts clearly don't have much of a chance to bag your hard-earned dollar (or Euro or forint or yen or whatever).

Lacking a bit of subtlety (even for Slovenia personal ads) is "Me 69 You." In Me 69 You's shot is portrayed a lovely summer day, a blanket laid out on green grass...and old Me herself inserting a vibrator. Now that's Slovenia. Escorts? Who needs them?
Mala 969 (why is "Mala" such a popular name in these Central European and Eastern European personals?) has a smaller gonzonga than Medusa (Mala, too, displays only one, in this case, the right - a political statement, perhaps?). All I know about Mala is that she's cold with goosebumps, she's "little" and she's "hot." Well, that erect nipple could have fooled me.

In what is possibly a mistranslation, "Wet Cat" is waiting for you. (But in actuality, this writer is a heck of a lot closer to her than you are - bet I'll beat you there!) She's also waiting for women and couples as she backs out of the shower, displaying the athleticism she just share, should you come to Slovenia. Escorts are far more expensive and seemingly less willing than Wet Cat.

Tamino, whose frankly amazing breasts are popping out of what appears to be her much smaller sister's brassiere, tells us that she's a "22-year-old girl looking for a new friend." Or friends, including couples. In Slovenia, escorts don't stand a chance against Tamino.

Very bizarre, at least in terms of posted photograph, is a woman called "Interviva." (It must be an Esperanto term.) Portrayed are her crossed ankles outfitted in black panty hose and a pair of high-heeled shoes. Atop the picture is the word "sexy." Slovenia escorts don't use the word, apparently. Interviva is certainly the choice for those with foot fetishes, general appreciation for women's footwear and/or a heavy tolerance for buying pairs and pairs of shoes.

Ah, now here's a refreshing change. Lucija is an incredibly attractive woman of forty-three years of age who actually sees fit to post a headshot. She's independent and "old enough" to live life in the manner she desires. Among her desires are to connect with couples of two men or men-and-women.




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