I know what you’re thinking, right, My Big Fat Greek Christmas, right, sweet pastries and Ouzo and dancing and crazy hang out fun. The land of Bacchantism and Dionysus as god who celebrated drinking and excess cannot, absolutely cannot be that serious about celebrating the birth of the Christ. Greek Christmas is not anything like you think it might be. Greek Christmas is a gentle, genuine celebration of the birth of Christ that begins on December 6th. Greek Christmas, and Christmas customs in Greece are a lot sweeter than you would probably think, involving a lot of genuflection and simple singing, though Turkeys have invaded the Isle. Greek Christmas is nothing like the party that most people would think that it is, but what if it was?

...So mind's fricking whirring and clicking, yard crawling with crazy screaming youthful drunkenness, Grecian moon howls, no wonder Dionysus went mad with his women in this sweet smelling air. House stuffed with beer kegs and wine drunk bands- all the wine you can drink! party time, hell, where’s the goat guy at, anyway?


"Where are the beautiful Greek women with the dark curly hair?" Even on Christmas eve you’d think they’d be out and about. What a wonderful day, a nearly home cooked meal in a small restaurant that cost next to nothing and two wonderful bottles of wine and people caroling and Christmas not being about billboards and sales and all the stuff that has ruined Christmas.

I scan the countryside, enjoying the green mountains, saying nothing, booze and joy sometimes make words immaterial, useless and fleeting. I saw a documentary once about the U.S. & Soviet governments tinkering with telepathy or something, and I have a simple solution, give your guinea pigs Greek wine and Greek air and send them to a party then they won't require words anymore, and there’s your problem solved!

Anyway, I hear music and laughter and joy and isn’t that what Christmas is about, joy and celebration of one of the most wonderful days in the history of this planet, we will kick back and enjoy our precious time on this planet and enjoy each other and enjoy the wine and enjoy the Greek countryside and enjoy life itself and what could possibly be wrong with that? Call Larry Laughter and Penelope Paranoia, and Manny Munchy and Captain Corruption on this, who'd drive us around after we were all bleary eyed from drink and smoke and bleary eyed nights out in the great Island of Greece. Really, wouldn’t Christ want us to enjoy ourselves on this greatest day of days? He suffered so we could live, and we suffer from over celebrating his birthday but you know what, I think that is what life is about in Greece and in places where people celebrate life on a daily basis.

What could possibly be wrong with that? What could possibly be wrong with celebrating life and existence and joy and carefree harmless merriment? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with joy and nothing is wrong with Christmas in Greece where they celebrate everything because everything is worth celebrating, and nothing is worth celebrating more than the birth of the Christ.