So I spent an entire career making not so much as a friend, but acquaintances. It never bothered me much, because I always considered my wife to be not only be a friend, but also my best friend at that. Well that's a very noble thing, but my wife would rather associate with more people than just her husband. I am a friend and a mate. But her needs are different from mine. So I've supported her in her effort to cultivate a circle of friends that doesn't just include myself.
The issue at hand however was making new friends. You would think that in a typical crowded city it would be easy to do. But apparently it's a challenge. We stated close to home and considered the school where our daughter attends. I thought that's always a good start on the road to making a friend. My daughter is a regular social butterfly and has lots of friends. We're slowly trying to meet the parents of the friends of my daughter.
I don't mean to imply that I don't have any friends. I have friends... somewhere. A friend of mine works in Turkey. I can't really invite him and his wife for dinner, but he's is a good friend. Another friend of mine lives in Japan and another in South America. Not exactly folks I can call if I have a flat tire, but at least we exist on some social level.
The thing is, as a freelance writer I don't associate with too many people. Possibly this should bother me but it doesn't. But I need my time to write. Plus, I think it's written somewhere that males aren't supposed to have lots of friends. We are supposed to be the hunters of meat, not social animals. But I thought, maybe on the internet I could make a friend. And I was right. There are plenty of opportunities to make a friend in cyberspace. I refer to them as "special friends" because more often than not these "friends" are young girls who will send me X-rated photos and more for money. Friends via the internet didn't seem like a viable alternative to my wife.
I thought about clubs for friends and certainly there are a few. Clubs that revolve around movies, theatre, dancing, trekking and more. Now we are on to something I thought! Even a small city like ours is bound to have different clubs. So I checked the Yellow Pages and sure enough I found several. I even met a friend of mine and his wife in the Theatre Club. It's not really a club as much as a group of like-minded individuals who enjoy the theatre. But after one meeting I noticed that the group used the theatre as a meeting place to get together and discuss... things other than the theatre.
We had more luck with dancing school. I love to dance and always have. But wouldn't you know it the one person I've never really enjoyed dancing with is my wife. Go figure. And she doesn't enjoy dancing with me! So we went to the dancing school not only to to lesrn dance together, but also make friends. I'm happy to say we did. We met many couple who are just like us. They hate dancing together, but love dancing with other people. Gives the term "swingers" a whole new meaning. My wife and I have gotten to the point where we tolerate each others dancing and we've made friends. I can now say that I have a good friend. And a good friend's wife.
So thanks to ballroom dancing, our circle of friends is a little bit bigger. And my wife is happier. And when my wife is happy that means I'm happy. And that, my friend, is what a solid marriage is all about.