half circle from hell, I say. Too many people there are repressed and screwed up. Toom much sexual deviance though all they talk of is piety and morality, yet it’s the bestiality capital of the world. St. Louis is a puckering eyesore in the middle of a flat, windy, listless, and begrudging land. It takes a day of my life away every time I pass it by. It makes cigarettes look like sour gummy bears in the grand scheme of things, and beer is its big enterprise. Masturbation is its past time. There's nothing else around so I guess there's nothing else to do. I vote for nude beaches right along the river. Nude beaches would loosen things up. Nude beaches would release some repression.
The place is depressing and sleepy, penny pinching and cheap, with little to no prospects of ever becoming a real city. It is a farmer's market stuck in the mindset of the 1800's, mired in a good old boy white redneck network. Zoning commissioners make you hire "local" union plumbers, curiously with the last same name as them and at twice the going rate, It’s infested with trailer pimps and old money, white haired goofy sheep screwing perverts (not kidding) with jars full of cash stashed under the bed so they can see the dollar girlie shows. Pathetic. Some nude beaches would do them good. Violent crime is off of the charts in E. St. louis, and potholes, dear lord,the potholes.
How can land so ungodly flat conceivably have so many potholes? Route 64 looks as though it is fresh off of two full tours of duty in Afghanistan, from the cavernous hilly part of Afghanistan that is bombed routinely and for the hell of it.
Is no one accountable for this madness? Is there no one that cares that downtown is a sooty graveyard built by the Busch Empire of the early nineteen hundreds? It's as if ol' Gussy Busch still runs the place, from his casket.
I have a solution: NUDE BEACHES.
Wake up, realize that the Mississippi is barely significant in the computer age, get over it and move on. Install some nude beaches, become carefree, put the water to good use, and get with the new millennium.
Get an industry other than beer and Pillsbury.
Clean yourself up, put on a pretty dress and flirt with Memphis, KC, and Chicago, take a stab at some human interaction and don’t be afraid of the human body.
And get rid of that stupid arch, sell it and buy some damned asphalt for the roads.
If that doesn't work you can go back to bestiality.
It's not like the sheep's going to complain.
Even if they do, what are they going to say, naaaaaaaah? Nude beaches will drive up the economy, release repression, allow people to feel freedom, put the water to good use, and probably cause everybody to get into shape, except the old dollar bill hoarding guys that just want to watch, but at least it will get them out into the sun and off of the sheep. Perhaps the St. Louis style pizza’s and the hamburgers on donut sales might go down, and by god is that disgusting, but I have to say, fried ravioli is not fit for human consumption anyway. Put it down. It’s a heart stopper. And get those nude beaches going. Those old guys only have so much time left.