Fact number twenty-seven about the Hungarian nation: Its denizens like to talk. Fact number twenty-eight: They like to talk a lot.
In a previous piece, this reporter - your inside information dealer, doling out the dish on Budapest sex - ran down some tricks of the trade for dating Budapest women. Budapest, though essentially similar to any other city - a city is a city is a city, after all - there are always the local niceties to consider. Again, just wanting to help, herein are offered tips to expand one key part of the social repertoire required to... well, get some of that Budapest sex. In theory.
Firstly, Hungarian folks are masters of small talk, and you can win yourself points with fulsome and generous treatment of the perennial subjects that always come up, such as "Why are you here?" "How do you like Hungary?" and "Wait, tell me again, why are you here?" Conversations - and particularly date conversations - can go 'round in these circles for some time indeed.
The Hungarians will start a conversation by asking how you are. Unlike home, they either genuinely want to know, or just want to tell you how they are when it's your turn to ask. And tell you they will, often in more detail than you would have liked: Don't be surprised if you are submitted to a blow-by-blow description of an illness or problems at home.
Unexpected frankness is the tip of a very large and potentially dangerous iceberg on which more than one cross-cultural relationship has wrecked. Hungarians are less fettered by conversational taboos than those of Anglo cultures, not only regarding health, but also religion, politics, money and, especially in Budapest, sex.
Be careful with absolutes. "Yes" can only mean "yes," and "no" can only mean "no." On the other hand, should you prove charming enough, the ubiquitous Hungarian expression "nem lehet," which often comes out as "I can't" or "That's impossible," may be nearly the beginning of negotiations.
If you have an opinion on something, you are expected to defend it or to capitulate completely, and a diplomatic "maybe you're right" will invariably be met with "Yes, I am," or even, "Yes, and you're wrong." This is often taken as arrogance, coldness, rudeness or (especially among upper-class Brits, who have a conversational code matched only by the Japanese in its complexity) lack of upbringing.
What is not taken into account in that view is that Hungarian folks live to emotional extremes, and if they so happened to agree with the stated view, no praise or expression of concord could be enough. Also to a certain extent lives the spirit of controversy that thrives in many parts of Europe (France, Italy, Greece, to name but three) while having given England and America the slip. In short, Hungarians love argument and even verbal conflict. As long as you are aware that the gap between an argument and a falling-out is so broad in the Hungarian mind that it requires an act of will to cross it, all should be well.
How does this apply to dating Budapest-style? The point is that, in Budapest, sex is readily available, but that a certain bridge or two must be crossed. It's worth it: Beautiful are the women Budapest-born and -raised. In Budapest, sex later. Talk first. Or even better: Just listen. They'll do all the work.
All right, here's the little known truth. Pay attention, foreign guys, and I'll tell you what exactly what sort are the all-time hottest, most gorgeous, sexiest, most gosh darn it perfect sexiest women: Hungarian girls. And now, thanks to a wonderful myriad of possibilities presented by the internet and newspaper personals, a whole new world of opportunities presents itself for the man who never thought himself exotic, one who was never a magnet for women. Hungarian women are the cure for your ills, my friend.
Should you heed my words and come to Hungary, this land of beautiful women, you will no doubt exploit the chance to date. Good on you! And to get a start, you don't even need to go out, to speak the language (though to hear that mysterious and sexy Hungarian hot from your date's lips is enough of a turn on to morph any red-blooded male into a LaRousse wannabe), or even to have arrived. Online personal sites - go ahead, pick one, any one - are filled to the brim with a disproportionate number of them. Statistics have Hungary at number fifty-seventh on the list of computers per capita at 86.9 per 1,000, higher than fellow former communist states Poland and Lithuania. And in the capital city of Budapest, this number has been estimated at five times higher. It seems like every one of them has a personal ad.
So there you are in Hungary, sex is in the air because it's summertime and everywhere - everywhere! - are women. (Hungarian attitudes, of course, are a bit more relaxed than those of Anglo cultures, and so if you stare, you stare. And admit it: You stare.) And maybe you a lucky one and you've already got a date. Again, good on you! Now take a little advice from one who has played the game and won, well, a few times:
Call first. At basic level, it's a sneaky way to find out how much English she speaks. No doubt she's gotten some words and phrases from high school classes, but has she ever spoken to an actual Anglophone? Communication is key, and so you must know what she will and won't understand. As long as you're not condescending, she'll be thankful for it.
Bring flowers. Of all the impressions, the first is key, right? Bring flowers, my man, to any social occasion, but a first, most of all a blind dates with women. Hungarian custom doesn't call for going overboard (see "Don't be a snob" below), but bring flowers. And for some reason everyone in Hungary ports their flowers upside down. Do it. The sort of charming quirks that Americans like to sport in order to mark their distinctiveness won't fly here. Keep a low profile and bring the damn flowers upside down. Oh, and have I mentioned to bring flowers?
Be confident. Yes, this is eternally true everywhere, but here it's doubly so. The weak-willed and weak-kneed won't be welcomed by women, Hungarian lasses not at all. The Hungarian woman is stubborn yet fun and would like the same from you. Okay, maybe not too stubborn - you have to give in sometimes, after all.
Don't be a snob. All right, you're there sitting before this beautiful Hungarian. Sex is on your mind - it's okay, she already knows - it's a thin line for the prospective wooer of the Hungarian. Hot sex may be fine to discuss, but don't brag about American product.
Play it cool. You may, how shall I put it, grab the golden ring on the first date. Things seem to be getting more conservative in this regard, but a very interesting recent EU poll showed that the most sex per capita was had not by the Italian, French or Greek women, but instead the Hungarian. Hot yet? Be cool, my friend, and good luck.