Added: 10/16/2005 |
Expectations Of An Online WeddingIn the 21st Century, when sociologists and anthropologists have access to scientific methods for predicting marital bliss, the online wedding has become a valid alternative to the traditional wedding ceremony. Still, despite its ability to almost guarantee marital happiness, the online wedding continues to raise eyebrows.
Some people question the wisdom of recognizing such a wedding. These people often refer to the online wedding as a virtual wedding, a ceremony that seals a virtual marriage. Perhaps these skeptics would look more approvingly on weddings in cyberspace, if they could become familiar with the premarital assessment inventory (PREPARE).
This inventory surveys 125 attributes that could lie within the personality of a prospective partner. These attributes focus on 11 different ways that a married couple could relate. The questions in the survey launch the future marriage partners on a quest for realistic expectations, confrontation of personality issues, communication, conflict resolution, financial management, acceptance of sex and leisure activities, egalitarian roles, parallel religious orientation, and shared enjoyment of children, family and friends.
Research conducted using this inventory could increase the acceptance of the online wedding. Such research suggests that an online wedding based on the findings from such survey questions could assure a success for 80% of couples who then took their marriage vowels. In other words, inclusion of PREPARE in a lead-up to an online wedding could allow 4 out of 5 couples to assume that they had a good chance for future happiness.
If society could count on an online wedding to help a married couple remain together, then far fewer people would be inclined to call such a ceremony a virtual wedding. If marriages from such weddings in cyberspace lasted longer than the more traditional weddings, then people would hold-back from suggesting that vows made online might lead to a virtual marriage.
To understand the value of PREPARE, one must study what actions are most often taken by couples who have answered the survey's many questions. Usually when a couple found that their personalities could lead to potential conflicts, the couple chose one of two options: 1) they proceeded to undergo professional counseling; or 2) they decided against going headlong into marriage. Seldom did such a couple fail to call-off or at least postpone their marriage.
Perhaps the online wedding could guarantee even greater chance of success, if the PREPARE questions also included the indicators studied by psychologist Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman warns couples to reconsider marriage if they exhibit one of the following:
1) A high level of agitation during a discussion
2) An unwillingness to accept responsibility
3) Expressions of contempt for a partner
4) An unwillingness to express concern for a partner
Dr. Gottman would advise any couple that has made repeated use of such behaviors to refrain from an online wedding, or from any type of fast-track wedding.
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