When you've made that decision that you want to save a relationship, that it is absolutely worth your time, interest and energy, then here are some power tools to help you recover the lost love. You want to fix what's wrong and promote what's good, right? Congratulations! Going into save relationship mode starts with this idea, it is the right attitude you'll need to accomplish the rescue.
Understanding how to save a relationship will depend on your understanding of what went wrong, or what changed and especially what you were responsible for in the problem. Taking a courageous inventory and acceptance of facts without self depreciation is the primary goal in the save relationship mode.
Love relationships, including platonic friendships can and will suffer communication lapses. It is difficult to be honest when negative feelings are involved. No one wants to hear, "You don't turn me on anymore", or "You're a disappointment".
The truth of endings, the reason for it so often is the hidden judgments and negativity, not expressed because honest communication might lead to some hurting feelings that most people would not wish to give or receive. It is hard to face rejection straight in the eye, to accept it without a tear, or a tantrum but courage to hear the truth, and speak it in an open minded way is going to be necessary in the save relationship mode you wish to be. Respect is the foundation for love and friendship, you could say it is the fundamental.
Communication begins with you and it is a good suggestion that you seek out some counseling. Sorting out yourself, who you are, why you are, helps you choose the right way to reach out. Saving yourself first is the only way to be able to save others. If you were on an airplane with a toddler and air pressure went bye bye, putting on your oxygen mask first ensures that you are able to put the mask on the baby. If the relationship you are trying to save is a marriage, you will be definitely getting some help in defining your goals and having a sounding board for your feelings is an excellent idea. In lieu of this a visit to the bookstore will yield an incredible amount of helpful books written by the Therapist Professionals that will not only inspire you, but can provide specific plans of action. Save relationship mode includes education, and the willingness to change.
This understanding, communication and your own willingness to change, to learn and to grow as an individual is what it takes to save a relationship. You know you can't fix what's wrong in other people; you can only work on what's not right with you. Even if you have a dread disease, you can still be emotionally healthy and full of love and positive energy. Being lovable is about being as healthy as it is in your power to do so. Save relationship mode develops motivation to go to any lengths necessary to be balanced and on sure footing in all your efforts to develop and maintain permanent caring love in your life.
Forgiveness, this is how we heal our broken hearts and all other complaints we might ever have in the world of friends, family and lovers. Read any book on how to save a relationship and you will find this stated over and over again. Without forgiveness, resentments take hold and of all things that kill love and keep it dead it is these resentments that ruin all hope. Many people seek their Higher Power in this, for a spiritual assistance may be necessary. If some things are impossible to forgive, it would be appropriate to seek God for the miracle. Forgiveness of yourself means you can also forgive others, progress, not the perfection would be the goal for save relationship mode.
Show me the love! There is no better way to show your love than by touch. This might be hugs with smiles, the touch on the shoulder, the caress of the hand, the little kiss. When you love someone you naturally spend your time with them, you spend your interest and energy without bounds. Listening to your love means you hear of their needs and you meet them giving freely of yourself. What once were the terms for your endearment now becomes simply your endearment. Bondage may be considered as domination or dependency, freedom from bondage is letting go off the idea that somebody owes you reciprocation for your efforts.
Sometimes despite your best efforts a relationship cannot be saved. This may have to do with loyalty, or lack of it. If your love is unwilling for any reason let them go. Time may heal wounds and return to you a friendship in the future, hope for it without being angry. Know that you tried and your effort was valiant, because you did care. If you have saved your relationship, don't rest on your laurels. Save relationship mode changes to have and to hold mode.
Keep the value of your love directly in view. The wonder, the adventure and the surprises of life are there to share for as long as you might choose.