My guide book says that St. Catharines "...offers a mix of specialty shops, services and one of the oldest continuously operated Farmers' Market in Ontario.." Well let me tell you, if that doesn't get you hot under the collar, nothing will.
I'm sure it's all true: manicured sidewalks and landscaped avenues. Small town atmosphere where everyone knows your name. You walk down the street and the shop owners call out "Hi Bob!" (assuming your name is Bob). A "downtown' that is historically rich in architecture and heritage and the type of flavor you just don't find much anymore. At least in the United States.
But we're not in Kansas anymore. We're right across the Niagara and they do things a little differently in this neck of the woods. The St. Catharines singles have fun here. After hours fun.
My radar perked up when I did a Google search on St. Catharines. A little bit of everything. Great St. Catharines dating sites, cool escort services, and a whole bunch of massage parlors. Not sure what the deal is with Canada, they sure don't have this kind of fun in the US. And if they do it's not legal.
First up is one heck of a St. Catharines dating site. You want to meet some hot St. Catharines singles? Check out www.plentyoffish.com. Take a look and tell me right away you're not ready to move to St. Catharines at the drop of a hat. Well, wouldn't you know it I was in New York on Business. Had a chance to visit Niagara Falls. Decided to take a trip across the border with some friends and almost didn't want to come back. It doesn't really matter when, but suffice to say I wasn't married yet -- was still fun and fancy free as the saying goes.
We wound up in St. Catharines. The least likely place I'd ever imagine going. On the outskirts of town was a Thai massage parlor. Darn it if my back wasn't acting up on me. The last thing on my mind was St. Catharines Dating, and certainly it wasn't St. Catharines Dating in a massage parlor. But I had time to kill so I walked in the door and Sunni Li was waiting on the other side.
What the heck is it about Tai women?
Needless to say she said all the right things. She understood completely about my strained back. She's be glad to help. After all, she was a licensed masseuse. She had a "diploma" right there on the cracked wall by the clock that proved it.
We talked quite a bit while she worked over my back. What she was doing in a place like this, how she wished she could meet a "nice young man" like me. She always wished she could meet someone who was interested in more than just St. Catharines dating. I was too lonely or too naïve to realize that she had probably used the same line on a hundred different guys, and they too probably fell for it hook, line and sinker. My heart reached out to her in a way that only she could understand. With money.
I gave her more than she bargained for. Literally. She could use the cash. Times were tight. She'd take the money and send it home to her family in Thailand. If only there was some way for her to bring her family over. Yeah. And if only there was some way for me to be stupid enough to fall for an anymore of her come heartbreaking tale of survival in... St. Catherines of all Places.
I got dressed and thanked her for her time. On the way out the door I noticed an Alpha Romeo Spider parked off to one side of the Parlor. I guess that's what Thai girls are driving these days.