A Teenage Relationship: Healthy vs. Unhealthy

A teenage relationship should be fun and exhilarating. You found someone you really like and he or she really likes you! That's a great feeling. Just make sure that that someone special treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Trust, honesty, and good communication make a healthy relationship. Jealousy, abuse, and spite make the opposite.

So, you are in a teenage relationship. Good for you! Hopefully you are having the time of your life with your significant other doing all sorts of  fun and exhilarating things. We know that it is exciting being in a relationship, but let's make sure that the teenage relationship you are in is a healthy one.

What Makes a Healthy Teenage Relationship?
Many teens may be wondering if they are in healthy relationships. It is a valid concern because, believe it or not, your first couple of relationships may mold you into the person that you will become. So, let's talk healthy. A lot of things go into a healthy relationship.

• Listen to each other. Good communication is key to a healthy teenage relationship. Heck, it's healthy for all relationships. When you can share your feelings with your partner without the fear of him or her laughing at you, you may have found someone special. So, if something is bothering you, talk about it with your partner. Make sure that there are no miscommunications, so that no one feelings get inadvertently hurt.
• Trust and Honesty are key. Trust and honesty go hand in hand. For example, have you ever caught your girlfriend in a lie? It doesn't feel so good, does it? Now, you will have a hard time trusting her again. See what we mean? If you aren't honest  how can anyone trust you? Try not to lie to your partner.
• Keep your identity. Sometimes in a teenage relationship, it is hard to separate yourself from your partner. But if you want to have a healthy relationship, remember to keep your own identity. Do your own thing sometimes. Go to the mall with your friends without your boyfriend. Or, catch a baseball game with your pals without your girlfriend. Do not give up the life you once had to be with the other person.

What Makes an Unhealthy Relationship?
Sometimes an unhealthy relationship is hard to catch because the warning signs are not blinking red. However, an unhealthy relationship is when your partner is controlling you, disrespectful to you, or becomes violent in any way toward you.

For example, let's say that you are in school and your good friend Gavin stops to talk to you by your locker. Your boyfriend, Todd see this and becomes enraged. He approaches Gavin and tells him to get lost. Then, he curses and screams at you for "flirting" with Gavin, even though you were just innocently talking with a pal. Todd even goes as far as to punch the locker across from him. This is an unhealthy teenage relationship.

Remember we discussed trust? For some reason Todd does not trust that you will be faithful to him, even though you are. He thinks you are being dishonest. Get out of the relationship. It is not healthy.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Ask yourself these important questions: Does my girlfriend or boyfriend:
• demand that I dress differently?
• tell me that I cannot do any better than him or her?
• hit me or come close to hitting me?
• stop me from participating in activities I enjoy?
• call me cruel names when I don't do exactly what he or she wants?
• scream and yell at me?
• force me into sexual situations when I feel uncomfortable?
• keep me from seeing my friends?

These are only a few things that signal an unhealthy relationship. Basically, if you are sad more times than you are happy, why stay with that person. You are a young, attractive, and independent person. Don't let anyone treat you badly.

Look, you are not looking for a teenage marriage, are you? Of course not! You just want to have fun with someone you care about. So, be honest with yourself and your each other, and you'll be on your way to a healthy teenage relationship.

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