Another thing to think about is the family your birth parents may have today. They may not have told their current spouses about having to give you up for adoption. They may be too ashamed or just not ready to share that information yet. Don't push yourself into their lives. Share a reunion and come away knowing at last you found out where you came from and why you were given up for adoption. If your birth parents aren't ready for you to come into their family or can't stand to tell their family about you, you must accept this. Remember they are meeting you for the first time in many years. They may still be in shock since they heard from you. Perhaps they are desperately trying to figure out how they will explain you to their spouses and children.
You must allow time for everything to transpire. It is quite difficult sometimes to not want to jump all over them at the reunion and ask them hundreds of questions. Take a step back and let your birth parents tell you what they expect from this meeting as well. Some parents are shocked that their children would even want to find them.
Statistics show that children who find their birth parents usually have a sixty percent chance of staying in touch with them after seven years. So the odds are good that when you start your search, you will find not only your birth parents, but new friends as well.
What of those reunions and meetings that don't go well? There are some birth parents that just don't want to be found. They have closed off that part of their life, and they don't wish to relive any of it. These may have been abusive parents or poor uneducated parents that had no one to help them. They just couldn't handle the stress or responsibility of a child. They let go once and don't want to have to go through it again.
The only silver lining is you found your birth mother and/or father. That may provide little closure, but you know the truth about where they are. You may also be able to find out why they gave you up when you were born.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are some birth parents who are dying to know about the child they gave up so long ago. There are many thoughts that run through their minds. What do they look like now? What career are they in? Do they have a family and children of their own? Did they have a good life that I couldn't possibly have given them? These are all questions that can be answered over that first meeting or over a lifetime. You may
be surprised at what you find out, but you will have your family history. Most importantly, you will finally have met the people who gave birth to you and made the difficult decision to give you up for adoption so that you might have a better life.