i love my costume it looks gr8 on me lol got my hair cut today and dyed it its like ruby red now and shorter like just layered and funky lol soooooooo happy!! i mean dave if u read this im upset u cant come but boo hoo im done lol this is so stupid!!! cant wait to dress up as a playboy bunny im gonna get D R U N K! one last round of vodka for hannah and im going out with a bang xxxxxxxxxxxxxx as for my stalker (u know who u r) LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im way out of ur league u pimply weirdo.

lol mwah LATER!!!!!!!!

omg where to start???????? i really dont know lol getting rid of nathan is probly the best move ive ever made. i smile and im me again!!!!! loving my dresses and heels lately lol and found an awsome friend and sorted threw alot of shit with the other ones lol im so happy right now. u know sometimes it just takes on look or a gentle touch or a certain event to totally knock u off ur spot if ur not ready for it?? well my weeks been like that and im loving it lol no need for a boyfriend no need to rush anything just happy being me

more later
MWAH

feeling alot better today not as annoyed going to brisbane on monday with my class woooo no really im actually looking forward to it. work yesterday it was dead so we just sat and talked tuesday night went out with the girls just hanging out love them so much not much to say atm ill write l8a

you were my sun. you were my air. you were my moon and my stars. now ur my dirt. your nothing to me anymore you cut me till i bled and left me to die but it wont happen im not you.

ok now ive got that off my chest i feel a lil better lol. he as in nathan nigalis was my everything and i was too crazy in love to think twice about all the stupid little stuff. but u know wat? they werent little the boy was really messing me up. christy i believe you. the brumbys girls i believe you. sarah i believe you. he cant even respect me as a friend. its like he can hook up with whoever but when i chat to some1 or ask if he knows a guy from bundy he asumes im sleeping with them. im not him i can have a normal realationship. i can see pepole for who they are not just a drunken shag in a back room.

how did i think someone like me would survive with trash like that which is wat he is i mean grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

im not in his league and people told me that i know i sound stuck up but when i met him i ended up leaving school i fought my parents and i cut my wrists. but that all healed once i found who i am. i will never self harm again and ill never let some1 like that into my life.

i have the worst cold atm. i can barely talk and it really sucks. im happy atm tho i think im finally over letting the ex hurt me and yer. cant wait to go away 30th and 31st fun with the girls and MAYBE another of my friends lol maybe maybe fingers crossed im kinda glad nathan isnt coming like dont get me wrong it would of been fun but that would have just made painful memories and confuse me a lil more we werent going to work but we gave it a hell of a go.

its my dads bday which is kool and everything todays been really laid back. its just this afternoon that im either over tierd or just bitchy.it feels like im lonely but i really dont think thats it. my friends and i r going to dreamworld soon and i was hopeing to have a male partner to have there with me but then nathan and i broke up and the other guy who just decided he likes me screamed at me last night over nothing and then tried to apologise then theres this other guy who for some reason i find attractive and i barely know him!!!! how crazy is that lol and i know its not like he even thinks about me back but i still just wish he would so looks like im going alone with the girls and sams friend jeremy........poor me itll be awsum fun but i just wish i had some1 to hold hands with and laugh and just see wat happens

FAR OUT I TOTALLY NEED TO SIT DOWN AND REALLY THINK IM FREAKING MYSELF OUT MAN. i cant believe i miss that dork. he really ment alot to me. but thats the past this is the present. i want a fun chilled out stable romantic funny easy going GROWN up guy. wow sounds like i need alot but i really dont i just want some1 to curl up with at night and who wants to hold my hand just coz he wants to. i want some1 smart and infependant i want a guy who is like a student and knows wat they are doing and has some goals

and i made it lol an entire week alone. its been 3 years since i was single in that time ive had 2 serious boyfriends and some in between im glad ive had this time to just think its kinda made me feel like me again. its my dads bday 2morow so i get the day of work yay not sure if im going out tonight mite stay home mite just have an early one. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

went shopping with my lil sis today went and got my dads bday present for saturday. talked to nathan kinda feeling pretty weird about it i dont know wat im going to do having him in my life is painful but wen hes gone i miss him........

my boss totally went over the top with jobs for us to do today it was like WTF!?!? i should totally be doing my assignment right now lol 100 words but i just dont understand lol cant wait to go away with the girls only like 3 weeks to go!!! yay gonna get smashed on the goldcoast lol doing the dreamworld surfers and motel thing lol work SUXS i need a new job i think i feel like im in trouble even tho i havent done anything * *
^ poor me

had an awsum day today went on a 3 hour motorbike ride with my dad to bundaberg to see bob dads friend then bob and i flew the helicopter home it was amazing we flew along the coast really low (750ft) and we saw turtles and sharks and dolphins and dugongs and it was fun. only shit bit was i burnt my ankle on the motorbike exhaust. dad lurvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeesssssssss his bike bmw 800 twin piston on road off road. had a total blow up at the ex boy last night kinda regret some of wat i said but im not the one sleeping with whoevers around so there. i wanna tell a story. one time like the first time i went to his house for the weekend we were sitting in the lounge room and i whispered that i was embarrassd to eat in front of his family it was the first time theyd met me and i wanted to seem perfect so the next thing i know hes called out across the room "hey mum hannahs embarrassed to eat infront of you guys" so there i am everyone starring at me and im about to burst into tears and he just laughs and continues watching tv. then at the table we start to eat and he turns to me and says "my family dont pray like yours" in this horrible snearing voice and im like no we dont pray either anymore (my lil sis has been doing religion at school and has decided to choose he faith at 9) so then we start to argue at the table and hes just being mean and yet i put up with it. he only ever bought me flowers twice. once when we got in a fight and broke up (for like 15 mins) and the second time was when i saw some at the local markets and i went to pay for them and he put his money in first so its not even like he decided to just buy a pretty girl flowers lol grrrrrrrrrrrrr wat was i thinking!!!

tafe today. shot of vodka and off i go lol really tierd and i 9 oclock class is pushing it for me, it means i have to be up by 7.30AM!! not really a morning person unless i have a reason. nathan called me today still wants to be friends and i think i do to but wat happens when one of us finds some one new. not that ill settle for just anything i want a romantic i want to laugh i want to be able to be friends first not just partners wow im simple.