It takes only a minute to get crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile. Because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Maybe we meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love will not provide assurance that they'll love you back. Don’t expect love in return; Just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn't, be content. It grew in yours. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness is for those who cry, those who have searched, and those who have tried because only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee
And I can justify
Any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon
Can get a massage
Without a hard-on

I can balance the checkbook,
Can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends
About the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others
When I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles
At any cost,
And I don't have a problem
Admitting I'm lost.

I never forget
An important date
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late

I don't watch movies
With lots of gore
Don't need instant replay
To remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem
With expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!

hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Willie Maley

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Willie Maley was his name,
He brought some great names to the game,
When he was the boss at Celtic Park.
Taught them how to play football,
He made the greatest of them all,
Gallagher and Quinn have left their mark.
Chorus:
And they gave us James McGrory and Paul McStay,
They gave us Johnstone, Tully, Murdoch, Auld and Hay,
And most of the football greats,
Have passed through Parkhead's gates,
All to play football the Glasgow Celtic way.
In '38 there was a show,
And Glasgow was the place to go,
A model of the Tower was football's prize.
England sent four of the best,
They didn't meet with much success,
Because the trophy ended up in Paradise.
Chorus
Well Coronation time was here,
Fifty three, that was the year,
Another four from England met their doom.
They said we'll have to try again,
But like before it was in vain,
Because the Cup is in the Parkhead trophy room.
Chorus
Well fourteen years had gone and so,
To Portugal we had to go,
To play the team that Italy adored.
Celtic went out to attack,
They won the Big Cup and they brought it back,
The first time it had been on British shores.

By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young girl calling
Michael, they are taking you away
For you stole Trevelyn's corn
So the young might see the morn.
Now a prison ship lies waiting in the bay.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young man calling
Nothing matters Mary ,when you're free,
Against the Famine and the Crown
I rebelled, they ran me down
Now you must raise our child with dignity.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

By a lonely harbor wall
She watched the last star falling
As that prison ship sailed out against the sky
Sure she'll wait and hope and pray
For her love in Botany Bay
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness in the world. Love is even stronger than fear and death. It is like a large box of chocolates - you take a chocolate but you never know what is inside. Sometimes, it is pleasant and tasty but it might just be the opposite too. Perhaps, love is just friendship plus physical closeness. Your heart will never beat in anticipation of meeting a friend. You will not lie awake at night thinking about your friend. You will not feel totally lost, if you don't meet your friend for a few days. You will not have dreams in your eyes thinking about your friend. But in love, you will do all this and much more.

Indeed, maybe love is stronger than friendship! For some people there is only one step between love and friendship. There are some things that you can’t tell your beloved. You can share them only with your friends because they will support and advise you. In spite of everything, friendship takes an important place in our hearts and our lives will be just lost without it.

So, with all said and done, there isn’t a definite distinction between love and friendship. Perhaps it doesn’t exist or maybe it is specific for each human being. I don’t know what kind of a relation exists between friendship and love exactly but I do know that they are the most exciting feelings in my life.

I'm sure you can imagine

As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player He and She

She whispered "Will it hurt me?"

"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm frightened,

I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore."

Then finally contented

Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it

It was growing rather painful

Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size

"Calm yourself," he whispered

His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get it in".

"It's coming now,"he whispered.

"I know."she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this.."

And with final effort

She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contented

Sighed and gave a smile
She said," I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully

The dentist you will find...
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

20 REASONS WHY A QUICKIE BEATS MARATHON SEX



1. No repetitive-stress injuries.

2. Knocks out insomnia faster than two tabs of Tylenol PM and a Bud tallboy.

3. Two words: less sweat.

4. On deadline? No problem!

5. Saves on batteries.

6. No guilt associated with saying, "I think it's time for you to go home now."

7. Two more words: stress reduction.

8. Makes for an interesting elevator ride.

9. Won't ruin your lipstick.

10. Great way to kill time while stuck in traffic on the way to the beach (if you don't mind rubberneckers).

11. Sometimes you just don't want your toes sucked.

12. You don't have to worry about remembering your partner's name.

13. Performance anxiety? What's that?

14. It's something to do while talking to your parents on the phone.

15. Doesn't give you enough time to notice he or she smells bad.

16. You don't have to suffer the embarrassment of having an orgasm in front of someone you hardly know.

17. You can have your after-sex cig in the cab. That is, after having sex in the cab.

18. A line doesn't form outside the bathroom at the party.

19. Dinner doesn't get cold.

20. Pillow talk? What's that!